I’m very excited for my latest craft experiment, where I rhythmically slap sale rank oil paint onto a canvas and I see how long it takes to dry so that I can finally touch the paint textures I stare at so longingly in museums. 12 hours in, still wet. I am beginning to think this might take longer than I thought which you can imagine is quite a burden, as I am absolutely horned up to rub this paint.
You guys sound like you know what you’re talking about but I’m gonna touch it every twenty minutes just to be sure
I’ve put this canvas to age in the basement like a fine wine, along another recent masterpiece of mine “I put the paint on me hand and I slap the canvas like a bongo”
Paint slapped on 6/9, as of 6/22 (I mean actually it was a couple days ago but I didn’t fully check the dryness then so I can’t be sure):
It is rubbery feeling and the peaks of paint move when you flick them. The texture is not at ALL what I expected tbh and it makes me excited to try a different experiment, thick brush strokes, you know, those mad thicc ones that swirl real good
Here’s an additional shot with my coffee cup for a further sense of scale so people will understand that these canvases are small and therefore stop sending me asks about my supposedly gorilla sized hands, you bastards, you rotten bastards scared of the hands your minds gave me
I don’t know shit about art but isn’t this like a great example of art that pushes the boundaries of what art is? Like you’ve got your canvas with paint on it, but your reason for putting the paint there is totally different than why most people put paint on stuff. It’s like a study on texture or something.
Agreed, this is really cool and also I love the fact that you really wanted to touch some paint, so you just went out and bought a bunch of paint and made your own painting for touching purposes. That’s striking me as really really cool right now for reasons I can’t entirely articulate.
For reference: Really thick paint on a piece of art is called impasto. Another really fun way to do it is with a painting knife: you can make each stroke SUPER SMOOTH like cake icing, but with visible, touchable texture between the strokes.
More impasto:
art by Jan Ironside, who does THICK IMPASTO FLOWERS THAT I SO WANT TO TOUCH
You LITERALLY sat down to watch paint dry…
Museums should have stuff like this on display JUST so you can touch it. With a sign like, “Feel me up! I won’t alarm!”
Thinking of getting into the wedding industry where I offer my services to brides with overbearing families and my job will be to remind everyone else it is NOT their wedding. I can do passive aggressive, private aside with a vaguely threatening air, or just telling them to shut the fuck up in front of everyone.
The plan is you tell them I’m your fiance’s estranged step sister so they’ll even sympathize with you for being stuck with me instead of hate you when I tell them no one wants to hear about why they rudely disagree with your veil choice.
I couldnt tell if this was one of those “this is year is getting dramatically worse” memes or if something else actually happened so I looked it up.
Turns out Michigan is actually flooding.
Yep. Dam burst cause the jackass who owns them didn’t pay to keep up maintenance, or so I’ve heard. It’s as likely a story as any.
But I’m sure that this has nothing at all to do with the govt not keeping up on infrastructure and not imposing regulations.
Friendly reminder that this is the second time michigan has flooded like this in recent years. Last time it was in 2017. The worst flooding before that was in the 1980s.
Less friendly reminder that this is happening while water crises like in Flint, Michigsn are still happening.
Not friendly reminder that this flood occurred in Midland, Michigan. Which houses Dow Chemical and has been the source of chemical pollution to Michigan water for decades. Reports say that flood waters mixed into the contamination pools.
Unfriendly reminder that Michigan is among the top 5 worst virus case states in the US. And our governor is being falsely discredited by Trump and our state government is being threatened by people carrying firearms.
